Heart Torn Asunder

Mist blanketed the landscape, stretching out in all directions and reducing visibility. Anything more than a rabbit hop away was swallowed up by the wall of fog, and Idek couldn't help the shiver that crawled down his spine. No scents reached him, no sounds except the beating of his own heart. Blue-green eyes swept hungrily about, drinking in his surroundings.

She appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Her form was bright and wispy, translucent. She bore no tattoo, no sign of the wounds that had killed her or the accessories she always wore. But she was still recognizable.

"Mom..." the syllable escaped him in little more than a croak. Idek swallowed, attempted to clean his throat. He parted his jaws to speak and then closed them again almost instantly, at a loss for any words.

The beginnings of a smile lit her green eyes, softening them as a gentle purr rumbled in her chest. "I am not mad at you, Cress. You have not disappointed or betrayed me; I was going to die. We both knew that." Pausing in her words Shasta padded forward until she could stretch up and press her muzzle against her son's forehead. When had he grown so much? "You seem troubled, Cress..."

Breathing in the familiar earthy scent of his mother Idek gave a faint nod. He didn't want to talk about it, hated to whine about his problems. What right did he have to complain when Shasta was dead? Surely she had more right to be unhappy... But she wasn't; she had come to terms with her death, he could tell by the faint glint in her eye and the relaxed way that she carried herself.

"She doesn't belong to you."

Dragged from his thoughts by her voice Idek backed away from his mother, his ears pressed flat in annoyance. "As if I give a shit about something that stupid!"

Gazes locked, neither mother nor son dared to break the silence. She was trying to read him while he struggled to be unreadable. Finally Shasta gave a faint shake of her head and slowly lowered herself onto her haunches. "She's beautiful, as are your kits, but she will never give up her freedom. She is as free as the wind that howls across these mountains. You can't control her, can't hope to keep her to yourself."

"I know..."

Shasta tipped her head, peering at Idek carefully for several heartbeats before she continued. "She will never be yours, my darling. You can chase her all across the mountains and give her every piece of who and what you are, but she will not be tamed, will never be yours alone." Noting the miserable slouch of his shoulders, Shasta felt a twinge of dislike for the she-cat that had stolen her son's heart. She had given her life to protect him, but she could offer nothing to save him from heartache. "Continue to love her, because I know that you can't stop, but do not live exclusively for her. It is possible to love more than once."

Idek exhaled a weak sigh, flicked his gaze toward the ground. For a while he simply watched the tendrils of mist that rolled across his toes. It beckoned him to join, to melt away as the sun rose and return again when the air had cooled. He would have no responsibility, no heartache... but he wouldn't be happy.

When at last Idek lifted his gaze, Shasta was gone.